This is not a story but a true incident that happened in USA.*
An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for
the loan officer.

He told the loan officer that he was going to India on business for two
weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan. The Indian man handed
over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the
bank. He produced the title and everything
checked out.

The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the
Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as
collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s
underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest, which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out and found that you are a multi
millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
“$5,000″

The Indian replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return’”

Ah, the brain of the Indian… This is why India is shining . . . _______________________________________________________________

1. On being Late:

“Kab shuru hui class?”

“Attendance ho gayi kya??”

“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”

“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu……..bol na …….. kal kya padhaya tha isne”

“Ek page de na………. abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse likhunga…. …”

” koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”

“wo bhi iss class ke liye “

2. During the lecture:

“Yesss!!!! Sirrr……. The answer is………huuuummmmm. …….aaaaaaaa……”

“No sir……I know the answer …….sir.. ..”

“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”

“Abe lecture ko maar goli….. Kareena kya lag rahi hai aaj……….”

“Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh”

“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya…….gadha…….”

“Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain ..”

“Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!”

3. Lab:

“Expt. 2 likha??”

“last time tu aaya the kya?”"

“Karna kya hai??”

“Yeh bhai…..merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata……..”

“Areee tu to bura maan gaya …….chal dikha na……..bhau kyo kata hai….”

4. Sessionals Test:

“sessionals test???? ……Aree yaar…… “

“Kya…….. abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya hoga….”

“Oye Sushil kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail….”

After test……

“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen

chalega…” SAHI !!

5. For attendance:

“I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya “

“Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega……..”

“Bola tha proxy regularly maar…….. Saale tera class karne ka kya faida hua……..”

6. Late submission of assignments:

” Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena”

“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya………..”

“They should allow XEROX……. ..sala system hi kharab hai “

7 . After exam:

“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt….”

“kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya”

“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….

Gaya ……….fail pakka………”

“Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena…….. wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar……..”

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”

“Aeee……..Akash. ….terese kya kya poocha….mood kaisa hai..”

“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”

“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai”

9 . Submission:

“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”

“kaat kaat ke likh le…kaon padhta hai”

“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”

“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….”

“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”

10 .Copying Assignments:

“Ye tune kya likha hai????”

(The best one)

“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal”

“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”

” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar.”

“Koi hint……..”

“Are baba ghaseet de……..na tu samjega na wo………”

11. Exam:

“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh NAHI aata hai” ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar….to ab kya poochenge”

“ye last time hi poochha thaa……is baar nahi aana chahiye”

“tere paas is ke notes hai??”

“Neend aa rahi mujhe to…thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka”

“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)”

“nahi samjha to rat le” – PERFECT ONE

“Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai……..”

“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya………”

I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all of you, friends:

“Bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai,

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai,

kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain,

kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

Abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai,

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

college ke paas Jaggi ka dhabe ki yaad aati hai,

tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.

bas ek bar aur wapas lautne ka man karta hai.”

1). The lecturers dont teach.The students dont study.The only guy who
benefits is the one who owns the ‘dhaba’ next to the college.

2). Rules are made to be broken.

3). Promises are made to be broken.

4). Deadlines are made to be extended…ALWAYS!

5).Guys always think the chics in the college next lane are more beautiful.

6).The geeks are the most pampered lot during the internal exams.

7).The lab assistants are the most respected people(during the lab exams i.e)

8).The watchmen are the people most bribed.

9).The HOD is the person most respected(heights of sycophancy here).

10).The principal is the person most abused and insulted(behind the back i.e)

11).Dropping subjects is ‘cool’.(arre yaar..drop the idea of dropping subjects plzz).

12).There is always a lecturer in the college who cant speak proper ‘english’.

13). Night-out is the second most important tool to ace the exams.

14).The most important tool..the bhramastra..is the ‘chit’ in which the
words can be understood only by the person who wrote them(in most of thecases i.e)

15).The freshers are the most sought after..be it in the canteen,the ‘free’
periods or for completing the records,assignments.

16).The second-years are the ones with the ‘I am the don-of-the-college’ feeling.

17).The third years are the ones with the ’so-many-backlogs’ feeling and the poor
souls get down to studying after bossing around in the college for so
long.but the fun still continues .

18).The fourth years have no connection with the college whatsoever…with
no interest in ragging,pulling each other`s legs,the bday parties,the bday
bums et al which they enjoyed so much till now.All they want is a good
placement and a ‘1st-class’ tag attached to their memo.

19).The first three years are spent in cursing the college,the people there,the system et al.

20).But towards the end of the fourth year ,people tend to feel nostalgic
abt the pure unadulterated fun they have had for 4 years.Now the very
system they disliked,the very canteen they cursed,the time that they spent
there,the bday bums they suffered..all these seem like heaven to them.

Quick Test

1) Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?

2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be
before all the pills have been taken?

3) I went to bed at eight o’clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at
nine o’clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm?

4) Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?

5) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?

6) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil
lamp and a candle, which would you light first?

7) A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure.
A big bear comes along. What color is the bear?

8) Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have?

9) How many animals of each species did Moses take
with him in the Ark?

10) If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburgh to pick up 7
more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4
more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, what’s the name of the driver?

Answers:

1) All of them. Every month has at least 28 days.

2) 1 hour. If you take a pill at 1 o’clock, then another at 1.30 and the last at 2 o’clock, they
will be taken in 1 hour.

3) 1 hour. It is a wind up alarm clock which cannot discriminate between am & pm.

4) 70. Dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2.

5) 9 live sheep.

6) The match.

7) White. If all walls face south, the house must be on the North Pole.

8) 2 apples. I HAVE 3 APPLES, YOU TAKE 2, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

9) None. It was Noah, not Moses.
10) You

Both Friends Will Think The Other Is Busy

And Will Not Contact Thinking It May Be

Disturbing

As Time Passes

Both Will Think Let The OTher Contact

After That each Will Think Why I Should

Contact First ?

Here Your friendshipWill Be Converted To Hate

Finally Without Contact The Memory Becomes

Weak

They Forget Each Other.

So Keep In Touch With All And Pass This TO All

Your Friends…

I Don`t Want To be One Of This Kind.

So Here I Am sending Mail

To Say

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it’s so easy to hide.
You’ve loved him for so very long,
You would think he could do no wrong.

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER ………… ………… ………… ………… ………… ………… ………… ………… ………… ………… ………… Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.